story 9

I feel like nobody ever wants to listen to me. It’s a problem. I never want to speak because I feel like it’s a waste of time. I mean my whole life it’s really been this way. I was never able to learn conversational skills.

I learned to save my breath and my emotions. It hurts a lot to know that what I say is not nearly important enough for anyone else to pay any attention to.

I talk the most to my sister when she’s around because she feels the same way. We listen to each other for hours at a time sometimes, because we have that much to say. I never have trouble holding a conversation with her.

My friends, however, are a different story. They change the subject as I’m in mid-sentence, or they turn away to look at something else or talk to someone else. I’ve told them about it and nothing has changed.

Even worse than that, my boyfriend just falls asleep as I am talking to him. He asks how my day was, and then I start telling him. The next thing I know, he’s snoring right next to me.

I’ve told him numerous times that it kills me when he doesn’t listen to me, and he has expressed his interest in changing his ways. He has disappointed me in that area.

I have heard somewhere that all people really want is someone to talk to. That’s close. I think that people want someone to listen to them, not just someone they can talk to. I can talk to my wall if I wanted, and that doesn’t really help. To have someone really listen to me is the best feeling.